Goodbye 5, Hello 6!

September is always a whirlwind, both physically and emotionally.  Busy getting ready for their birthday party, back to school and getting into a routine, as well as reflecting on another year passed, and the joys and fears that came with delivering so early.  Facebook is great to remind you how the month unfolded from happy belly pics and baby shower posts to blog updates from the NICU as our babies fought to live. 

And this September was no different as I made the yearly video.  It takes a few weeks of picking pictures, the right song, and editing it to fit the song.  The song this year is one that is deeply personal to me.  It is Firework by Katy Perry.  I remember hearing it on the radio on the way to the hospital on my first day returning after being discharged.  I was still trying to grasp how this was going to work leaving my babies at the hospital every night, not knowing if they would make it through the night.  Not being able to hold them, it was very difficult to bond with them, and factor in doctors giving you survival statistics and grim prognosis on the babies made it even harder.  And then the song came on.  It had been out a few years, so I knew the words, and as I mouthed the lyrics in my dazed state, they really hit home.  I felt like the first verse was where I was at, but then the second verse was almost like a call out to my babies to let it shine and show them what your worth. And it gave me purpose.  Fast forward a few days and one of our nurses suggested I sing to the babies because I couldn't hold them yet and they would be comforted by hearing my voice.  So I just stood there at Elsie's isolette and I remember thinking I just couldn't sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' or any other lullaby for that matter.  Every baby song I could think of just didn't feel right, those songs are for Moms in a rocking chair in a nursery at home singing their babies asleep.  And out of nowhere I just started singing Firework.  And every time I sang it, the lyrics hit home harder and harder.  It was like our anthem. So here I am standing at my babies' incubators, singing a song about showing the world what your worth. 

As the weeks passed, I sang that song to them almost every day.  I also liked to sing Don't Stop Believing by Journey and whatever popular songs were on the radio, but no lullabies.  I didn't sing their first lullaby till we were home.  And since then, when I hear Firework, it is hard to listen to, it brings me right back to the NICU and gives me what feels like a mini panic attack.  But I listen.  To every word.  Because it is a big part of our story.  And I let myself relive all those emotions to remind me where we came from and how far we have come.  I've thought about using this song before for their yearly video, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  It was too hard to hear over and over.  And I won't lie, this year when I made the video I did almost 90% on mute so I didn't have to keep reliving it.  But it was time.  Time for this song to be positive because my babies did show them what their worth, and they let their colors burst and shot across the sky.

So here it is.  Our yearly video (appropriately named 5 year olds)

Other than the video, September has been busy.  Kids are exhausted every day after school.  they get on the bus with their bus driver Wayne at 8:23 and get off at 3:52.  Long day.     They all love their teachers.  Elsie has Ms. Santos, Danny has Mrs. Chamberlain, and Sam has Mrs. Schinigoi. 

Elsie in her Kindergarten class for Open House

We started soccer this fall.  Kids love it.  

Here are the lyrics to Katy Perry's Fireworks. 

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting thought the wind
Wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel so paper thin, 

Like a house of cards, One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?                                                                                                          Six feet under scream                                                But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you,                                                                                       'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe.
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Hello Kindergarten!

We said a sad goodbye to another summer and took a brave step into Kindergarten last week.  It was an anxious week leading up to the first day as Quinn Elementary School offered a new student tour and the kids got to see the school the week before and realized I placed them in all separate classes.  Danny's teacher Mrs. Chamberlain was there for the tour and got to meet him, but Elsie's and Sammy's teachers were not and they were full of questions for the week.

The first day went OK, Sammy was ALL smiles and excitement, super pumped to ride the bus and meet new friends.  Danny must have told me 100 times he was nervous all week and looked flat out terrified in every picture.  He is an over thinker, so I knew he just had to get in there and get through the first day and he would be fine. He kept saying this is gonna be fun, but you could totally tell he was trying to convince himself.  Elsie has been worried all summer.  In preschool she never looked back when I dropped off, but this summer for a few day camps we did, she had flat out meltdowns crying and holding onto me telling me she didn't want to go.  She would complain her belly hurt the night before and all morning she worked herself up about it so much.  So I won't lie, I was worried I was going to be prying her off me to get on that bus.  I kept hyping her up all morning before the bus came, and not giving her any down time to worry, which worked until about a minute before the bus came.  She turned with tears welled up and said 'what if I don't know anybody?'  I felt so sad for her, but I said 'you've got your brothers and Jazzy and Gianna for the bus ride and your friend Abby is in your class at school!'  and she bought into it and was the first on the bus.  I'm sure she didn't get on first out of enthusiasm, but more because no one else is going to do something before she does.  Hey, whatever works.

I surprisingly did not cry.  I was nervous all day hoping they had a good day as 3 individuals for the first time instead of being in their pack, but I didn't ugly cry like I expected myself to.  I ugly cry over songs and commercials of kids growing up, but I guess in real life I was so proud of them it just didn't happen.  They got off the bus in the afternoon totally pumped to see me and have a snack, and then were instantly exhausted.  It's been a week of rough afternoons as they get used to the long days. They get on the bus at 8:23 and get off at 3:55.  And we are close to school, so it's a short bus ride.

New Star Wars shirts for everyone!

2nd day she didn't look as excited 

It's been a while since my last post.  We finished up the last year of preschool at Smith Mills, and the kids were sad some of their friends would be going to different elementary schools.  I started taking pictures of some of their school stuff that comes home because it's impossible to save all of it but so much of it is adorable and I really want to have some memories of them.  

she's really into dressing herself these days

Spring school pictures

I love that they did a little cap and gown picture too!

When school got out we had a busy summer visiting with all our friends and enjoying the pool! Here are some of our summer highlights!

first picnic lunch outside

Vova getting the garden ready

he just wants to wear his cape, be barefoot and play legos

Went to the pawsox with Tracey and family, Danny loved learning about the game

Sam loved popcorn

we were losing so Miguel taught Danny about inside out backward rally caps

Great night!

Danny was out cold before we left the parking lot

Sammy fell off the deck into some bushes and got a good chunk taken out of him earlier in the day before the pawsox, but he was a trooper all night at the game

red nose day!  Grammie gets us red noses every year

cookout with our family

Danny helping Mommy at work

Danny loves to snuggle. And watch hockey

helping in the garden

shopping for Gianna's birthday party

Elsie loves to sing in the car.  I caught this cute video

being silly at Bri's softball game

selfies

they loved the movie and going to the theater

she lays on the couch and says 'mom, rub my feet'

helping daddy

my girl

swimming at Auntie Tracey's

3 best friends

he always runs his feet on yoshi.  not sure yoshi likes it

chewie needed some accessories

first video games.  i'm pretty sure Danny is hooked.  he put his hat to the side to focus

petting zoo at the block party

tattoos!

sam loved the hot dog

they made sand jars at the Fairhaven Homecoming with Grammie

getting ready to make Gianna's cake

Happy birthday Gianna!

selfies with Auntie Tracey

getting dressed outside on a beautiful morning

kids are really developing their strokes at swimming

and being goofy after swimming lessons doing a conga line

pool party at auntie cathy's

my girl. the thinker.  the observer.  

being silly

fun afternoon with cousins

camping at Normandy Farms

S'mores

they had a big practice field so we got some soccer time in

making bracelets

tickets for the 'haunted' wagon ride

ice cream with Sandy and Homer

look at this garden!

Elsie gets her faces from Miguel

just a little construction man, fishing, boating kind of afternoon

Danny wants to paint his toenails and still play in the mud

beach day with momma

if a fort can be made, he'll make it

digging to China

ice cream and playing in the park with Nichole

We've been playing in the back yard as much as we can this summer

dance moves!

Erin and Ellie

Grammie with Ellie

great day at Auntie Cathy's

our annual visit with our nurses.  love these ladies

We got to swim at Derrick and Deb's house to visit with them and had lots of play time in the pool

Elsie was out 5 min into the car ride home from swimming

this kid loves me

selfie's at Auntie Cathy's

they love Jimmy

and Joey

Riley and Elsie taking a selfie

watching the boats go by the bridge

her new Ariel bathing suit

riding bikes on the canal

waving to boats

camping at Scussett

watching the lightning storm.  Danny liked it

zoo date with our people

she made me take her picture at the grocery store with the school bus because she was so excited to ride the bus this year

my sweet boy

they've been growing these sunflowers

her new my little pony sweatshirt is a hit

selfies with Mommy at work

waiting for Mommy to get out

fun play date with Henry at Auntie Cathy's

We went to Peter's Pond to visit Tim & Dianne for the day and did some playground and pool time

Danny had never done the fire pole and figured it right out

Elsie needed a little more coaching